Loneliness, absence, longing, melancholy; check 6 tips based on positive psychology to look positively at these feelings so present at this time of year
Photo of lecreusois
Another year finishing, decoration in the shops and in the streets and that nostalgia takes over. Special times like Christmas and New Year bring memories of good times and, almost always, of people we love. It misses everything and everyone. But not everyone finds refuge and comfort in the “Christmas spirit” to feel the same joy as most .
While some wait anxiously for this time of year, others wish it to end. For many people, outgoing melancholy becomes synonymous with stress, anxiety, pain, loss, depression, anguish. Looking at the year that is ending and analyzing everything that has happened can also miss goals, dreams not realized, loved ones already gone, weakened health, family crises, financial problems, among so many other daily challenges.
According to Flora Victoria, Master of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, the end of a cycle, whatever it may be, can awaken different kinds of emotions and thoughts. From the simplest to the most complex. “But it is possible to work on those feelings so that they do not become oppressive. It is not easy, but seeking self-knowledge is the first step to identifying them and using them in a positive way for the sake of what is desired,” he explains.
For the expert, another initiative is to avoid negative thoughts. It’s a big challenge, but it makes all the difference in anyone’s daily life. If something is bad or unfavorable in personal, professional or any other sphere, shifting the focus and looking at the aspects that are working helps to face the challenges from a more encouraging and positive perspective.
“It is natural that the turn of the cycle awakens in people a sense of evaluation of their attitudes and behaviors, as well as the need to set goals for the coming year. However, it is more productive and healthy that such assessments are made constantly over the months, enabling re-evaluations, route reorganizations and adaptations of ongoing projects. This prevents us from carrying that heavy “backpack” of frustrations for all that was not achieved during the year,” says Flora.
Positive psychology teaches that when you have knowledge of your own abilities, values and strengths, you can find out how to be more effective in seeking better results. Based on it, Flora Victoria lists some tips for those who seek to overcome their fears and, from this form, enjoy the end of year parties with more balance and positivity:
Practice gratitude: Being grateful for what you already have and consider valuable, regardless of the nature, be a son, a friend, a pet, a job, makes all the difference for the emotional. Gratitude shows us the value of each person or small achievement, and awakens the ability to create another relationship with the world around them.
If you give a gift: Take advantage of Christmas and the New Year to give yourself something important and meaningful, be it an outfit, an electro-electronic, a trip, a pet, etc. Anyway, something that makes you really happy.
Socialize: Even if you enjoy moments alone, avoid isolating yourself for too long. Take advantage of the days off to go to the movies with a friend, visit that family member you haven’t seen in a while to catch up, do outdoor activities and meet other people. Go around!
Take care of your relationships: Relationships are all the interpersonal relationships that you develop daily in the different spheres of life – be it at work, at school, at home, with friends or neighbours. A person with a healthy network lives with more quality and well-being.
Plan and organize goals in a positive way: For next year’s wish list and goals, think about each item with commitment and awareness. Make projections and set detailed, concrete and feasible goals. Do not make your list a source of frustration. Planning and accomplishment generates emotions and chemicals that drive us to always seek more.
Don’t compare yourself to the others: The neighbour’s grass always looks greener than ours, but that’s not true. With social networks it is common to think that the life of the other is better than yours. However, not everything that is posted in the digital environment portrays reality as it is. After all, no one exposes their insecurities, sorrows and failures on the networks.
Finally, the tip is: use this time of reflection to your advantage. Invest in your self-knowledge, value your qualities, recognize the positive aspects of your life and those around you. Use all these elements as motivation to overcome your challenges, correct what didn’t work out so well, and achieve your goals next year.
About Flora Victoria
Flora Victoria is the only master coach in the country in Positive Psychology Applied by University of Pennsylvania. She was considered the Ambassador of Happiness in Brazil by Martin Seligman. She is the author of important works such as Sowing Happiness (2017) and Flowering in Practice (2019). A pioneer in conducting research projects and scientific proof of coaching in Brazil, Flora has contributed to consolidating the credibility of this process in the world. She has academic degrees and specializations in Corporate Governance from Harvard Business School; MBA from FGV; Marketing from ESPM and Technology from USCS.