Both my husband and I are very much family and we love being surrounded by those we love. But we live far from everyone, including our parents. Therefore, our son’s contact with his grandparents is not daily.
There are days when it is very difficult not to have grandparents around, not to have someone to count on, to share the pains and joys of motherhood with. Some days we feel more than others, like our son’s first June party. Unfortunately none of them can be here, and we would love them to be. But the choice to live far away was ours, and each decision comes with some renunciations.
To dodge the lack that grandchildren feel of having their grandparents around, here are some tips:
– Let your children have a constant presence – even if virtually – with their grandparents, so they’ll bond and play with them, even online;
– When the bar squeezes, ask for help! In my case, I asked for help on vacation, and it was very good! The grandparents were able to spend some time here and collaborate, paying attention to our son while we worked;
– When grandparents are with the children, make every moment worthwhile: forget television, cell phone, lay on the floor, play hide and seek, let them get dirty with mud… Anyway, let grandparents be children again with their grandson, those moments will be unforgettable, for both parties!
– We know that many things were different at the time when we parents were children, and our own relationship with our grandparents. But one thing is certain: nothing is easier (and more productive) than to respect family decisions.
Living without grandparents around can be a challenge to overcome. Not having a support network makes our children even more attached to us, especially when they are younger. As time goes by they understand the affection dedicated to them, even if it takes longer to see each other and the relationship develops naturally. Finally, I can only wish a Happy Grandparents’ Day to these enlightened beings, with color in the lives of our children and always help us in the moments we most need.
Article, by Priscilla Kalil
Priscilla Kalil is mNicolas’ mother, physiotherapist, beautician, neurologist, entrepreneur and CEO and pilates instructor at Studio KaPri. Graduated 13 years ago from Universidade Metodista de São Paulo, she has traveled the world working with body treatments. She has lived in Perth, Australia, and her return to Brazil eight years ago had a reason: longing for her family. This is a subject that goes hand in hand with the universe of motherhood, subjects that Priscilla masterfully dominates. Author of Materhood, the best place for mother talks, without any judgment.