I have been wanting to write about this topic for a long time, I already had the title, but I have not yet fully elaborated in words what I wanted to express. We are provoked in difficult situations to hear from people: “… if I were in your place, I would act like this …”. Little do they know how difficult it is to be you, so much so that if you think about it, neither can we do it all the time.
We are so shaped by our families, teachers, work, religion, neighbors, friends, enemies, by the system of the society in which we live, that we distance ourselves from our true essence, we take paths and make choices believing that we are ours, when in fact the greatest part is to meet their expectations.
How many of us dreamed of different things than we do today? How many of us, even professionally unhappy, decided to stay for fear of people’s reaction? Or do we maintain relationships for a social or religious issue? Are we pregnant because the family wants a grandson? Or do we take sides to be accepted by a certain group? Did we buy a house instead of traveling the world? Do we get married instead of buying a bicycle?
This week I met a poem by Clarice Lispector: When I don’t know where I kept a paper… Which accurately portrays this anguish about the conflict in truly assuming ourselves, acting in favor of oneself, being the protagonist of one’s own history and why not, writing one’s own story.
How would it be? What would you do if you were yourself? What would your choices and actions be? Think … and if possible write, in a hidden place preferably, I don’t want to cause problems for you, but solutions. Who would you be with? Where would it be? Doing what?
Well, I’m here thinking a lot! And suddenly I fall into myself and I know to be I is to assume my light and my shadows, to take full responsibility for what I would become, because I will have no one else to blame for what I have become. Every choice has waivers, sometimes we need to decide for the choices and other times for the waiver. It is very cold in the belly, but it is liberating!
Being yourself requires a lot of courage, resilience, self-knowledge and wisdom, that is, it is not for everyone.
Author: Fernanda Leite
Fernanda Leite is a psychologist and life and career coach, has worked for more than 15 years in Communication and Retail companies, specializing in Development, Behavioral Analysis and People Management who work in advertising agencies, journalism, design, book publishing, creation , marketing and digital.
Its mission is to reveal the best version of each one so that these people assume the role of protagonists in the generation of content and creative results, with high quality, truth and relevance to society.