Raising a child is not a very easy task, we mothers mature and go through very complex phases. It is important that we raise a responsible child who is happy to help, not reluctant to contribute. With a little patience and a few tricks, we will find the right way to raise our children with responsibility and to become a responsible adult.
Be an example
Always be your best version, trying to be an example for your child. If you lose control, patience, and yell at him, explain why what happened, was wrong, recognize and apologize.
If you promise something, like a ride, or anything else, keep your promise. The lack of commitment gives an image that your word is not reliable and that you do not make your commitments, making the child think that he can do the same with other people.
Here at home we only talk about what we have to do, or what we are programming on top of it, so as not to cause discomfort if it does not happen. It’s also because there’s a lot of anxiety and a lot of expectation.
Assigning age-appropriate tasks
Everyone in your family can be given specific tasks to teach responsibility, even young children can help. From the age of 2 they can already perform some tasks, such as storing toys. Even at a young age they already have motor coordination to do them.
Define the responsibilities of each family member. A responsible person is one who keeps his word. Then your child will see that it takes a little time to accomplish these tasks. In the future he will know how to turn around on his own!
Here the tasks are divided, also so as not to overload me. Luiz Miguel has his obligations, as an example:
- Put the bed away;
- For and remove the table after meals;
- Put dirty clothes in the basket;
- The dishes he uses, he washes them;
- The room he organizes. He often sweeps and rags. But there’s always that day I give the general.
Praise for taking responsibility
A job well done is commendable. We often forget to praise, but we must always be around to praise a job well done, for example, when they take their clothes off the floor and dust the furniture.
But don’t exaggerate, too much praise doesn’t stop the child from being confident!
Say for example: Congratulations, you studied and worked hard to get a good grade! Good job!”
And no, “How clever you are! You got a good grade!”
Praise your actions and not characteristics.
Don’t do for your child what’s his job
That’s a tough one, because we need to teach and let them do it. Because they are learning, however simple a task it may be, it will take more time, more than expected. Or they won’t even want to do it, and we want to get our hands dirty and get it over with quickly. But we need to have a lot of patience respecting development and the most important thing: to give him opportunities to learn new things.
Avoid constant rewards
Instead of promising your child a treat, if he takes out the trash, let him feel the reward for taking responsibility, without being bribed. You can surprise your child by rewarding him one day a week, but don’t use a pocket full of candy so you can hand out a piece each time he does his job.
Let your children feel the consequences of being responsible
What happens if you stop cleaning the house, take the children anywhere they need to brush their teeth or not? Of course, you do your duty and you can also make sure that your children do their part.
We tend to strengthen our children, we have established responsibilities several times, but they seem to keep forgetting? Fighting, shouting, if it’s no use, I’ve already been through this phase (I still pass, kkk), but I try to control myself. Before you start revealing your child’s responsibilities, start with what the consequences will be.
You can do this as an ongoing consequence, example: If you don’t do these five tasks every week, you will go without watching TV or you can define these consequences every week based on the actions you are currently doing.
Your children will need time, they are still children and they will need this time to remember their duties and fully understand their importance.
Your leadership is crucial if you are to raise a responsible child who will become a responsible adult. But it needs to be done in a stimulating way, encouraging them to participate and encouraging them to contribute. Otherwise, your child begins to understand duties as something they have problems with, not something really useful.
Hugs, Mayara Figueredo!