Hey, family, all right!
I’m used to reading American blogs, especially maternity blogs! In one of these readings I found the Blog HOPE IN AFFLICTION, written by Jaimee. Let’s find out with it 8 things that a daughter needs a mother.
Having a daughter was one of the most joyous experiences of my life. There is no doubt that the mother-daughter bond is special, but as a mother, there is a great responsibility that comes from the relationship with your daughter.
If you have more than one child, you know that each child has needs that are expressed and met in different ways, and the needs of the mother and father are also different. I always hear the emphasis on the father-daughter relationship, which I believe is such a critical relationship for a young girl, but I don’t always hear about the importance of a mother-daughter relationship.
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What a daughter needs from her mother
1. A daughter needs you to believe her
Being one of your daughter’s biggest fans is a great way to gain confidence. Especially when our daughters are young, it is important that they feel they can conquer the world. If your daughter doesn’t feel that you believe in her, she probably doesn’t believe in herself.The sooner you can instill belief in your daughter and let her know without a doubt that you trust her, the sooner she will learn to believe in herself.
2. A daughter needs you to confirm that her value comes from within; not performance, appearance or success
Today’s social media open up a whole new world of false appearances, expectations, bullying and standards that will never be met. Your daughter needs to know that you are proud of her, that you think she is beautiful and that your love is really unconditional. Just as we mothers do; our daughters will make many mistakes throughout their childhood. It is important to extend grace to our daughters and teach them, no matter how many or how many mistakes they make, they will still be worthy of love and forgiveness. We must teach them to navigate the conflict of relationships.
3. She needs you to model self-awareness and self-care
Modeling good self-consciousness and self-care is important because it will teach your child to be more mentally and emotionally healthy. One way to model self-consciousness is to recognize your emotions. It is likely that your child already perceives your emotions, especially the negative ones. Verbalizing your emotions and their motives can be very helpful. Your child needs to know how to express her emotions in a healthy way and identify why she is feeling this way.
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Even in times when we don’t know why we are feeling the way we do, it is important to teach them to recognize that too. “I’m very anxious today, but I don’t know why.”
4. She needs you to show her how to respect herself and have confidence
You may not realize it, but your daughter watches you a lot and will learn how you act, how to treat others and how to treat yourself.
Your daughter needs to see what a woman is like to value herself, respect herself and have confidence. If you do these things, she will notice!
5. She needs you to spend some time with her
Time is so valuable. Take your daughter on mother-daughter dates. Pursue her heart. Ask her questions. Listen and tell her that you listen to her. Spend some time teaching your life skills such as cooking, sewing, cleaning, washing clothes, etc. … these things can result in quality time rather than tasks and can be a great way out for deeper bonds.
Build traditions with your daughter that are specific to you and her, and also to your family. Traditions are great ways to create memories and celebrate things you value (like your daughter !!).
6. She needs you to give her room to make mistakes and learn for herself
This could be one of the most challenging. I don’t know of any mother who likes to see her child take a dangerous road with obvious mistakes or heart pain ahead. But the reality is that we cannot control our daughter’s life and we cannot stop her from making mistakes, nor should we.
Our daughter’s need to learn to make good choices and live a responsible life, but they won’t learn that without ruining it.
The best thing we can do is support them through all the ups and downs. Our daughters need to know that they will not be perfect, that they will make mistakes for the rest of their lives and that they can overcome those mistakes, learn from them and improve because of them.
However, the worst thing we can do for the daughter is to establish precedence that they should be perfect, and that mistakes should not be made.
She also needs you not to force beliefs on her. For me personally, faith is an important part of my life. Of course I want my daughter to believe what I believe, but I need to give her room to choose for herself.
The best thing we can do as a mother is model our beliefs and incorporate aspects of her into our daily lives.
If religion is important in your family, you can pray with your children, read Bible stories, teach them about the Bible, do family devotions and model quiet moments, but you can’t choose religion for them, they need to choose. themselves, so don’t force yourself on them.
7. She needs you to tell the truth about yourself and teach her to do the same
Negative internal dialogue can be so destructive for girls. As an adolescent counsellor, I see many girls who allow negative internal dialogue to define them and impact the harmful decisions they make.
Whenever your daughter says something negative about herself, make her say three positive things about herself. This helps in the transition of her thinking and helps reinforce the importance of positive internal dialogue.
As mothers, we need to model the positive internal dialogue and not to put us down, especially in front of our daughters.
If we say things like “I look fat in this” or “I feel ugly” or “nobody likes me”, we are teaching our daughters that everything is fine and it is not! Whenever my daughter says something positive about herself, I try to praise her, agreeing and recognizing the power of saying positive things about herself.
A great way to improve communication with your daughter is to keep a mother-daughter diary. You can buy a pre-made one, which includes fun writing instructions and an organized structure. It makes it easier to talk to your child in a creative way that can make her feel more comfortable asking questions or opening up about things. Definitely, I recommend trying!
8. She needs you to allow her to disagree and say “No.”
This is different from allowing them to disobey or be disrespectful. If we are teaching our daughters to care about themselves, they need to learn to say “No” and know that “No” is important and should be respected.
The need for our daughter to learn to say no as a means of defending herself, setting boundaries and developing self-protective skills.
If she doesn’t feel that her parents don’t respect her, she won’t have the confidence to say no outside the house. Her daughter’s need to develop her independence and the worst thing we can do is not to give them that freedom. Your daughter needs to learn to take responsibility for her self-protection.
Creating daughters is a privilege and a great responsibility. As a mother, we have a great opportunity to influence our daughters in a positive way and teach them to be confident, respect themselves, set boundaries and be healthy. We need to exemplify these things and show grace to our daughters as they learn.
The time you invest in your daughter’s life will not be wasted. Even on difficult days, it is worth continuing to chase your heart and love it well.