For many, these last months have been an opportunity to spend more time with their children, to share spaces and experiences, to learn to know them better, to understand them, to be patient.
In general, however, in normal conditions and for those mothers and fathers who have never stopped working or who will start working again shortly, some psychologists’ advice to improve the relationship with their children and help them grow calm. , open to the world, outgoing and confident.
It is the so-called 3 minute rule.
THE 3 MINUTE RULE: WHAT IT CONSISTS OF
The 3 minute rule is pretty simple to put into practice. Parents are asked, every day, to dedicate 3 minutes exclusively to their children, hugging them, kissing them, asking them how they are and what they have done, questioning them about their thoughts and feelings.
Of course, the time that every mom and dad spends with their baby is more. But this rule excludes the time taken to look after them (prepare food, wash them, help them do their jobs), the time spent playing and the time needed to take them from one place to another.
The time mentioned in the 3 minute rule is a different time: it is a time completely dedicated to listening in an exclusive way.
The 3-minute rule also says something else: every day, every time we go away, even if only for a little while (for example, to shop or run an errand), it is essential, returning home, to greet the child as if he had not been seen for a very long time, as if he had gone on a long journey.
In other words, every meeting with the little one that takes place during the day (at the school gates, in the evening after work, on the weekend when you are busy doing something else) should be emphasized as not so much that the child feels his or her own. lack (also), but rather the desire of the parents to know what happened in his life during their absence.
WHAT IS THE 3 MINUTE RULE FOR?
It serves to accustom the child to tell himself, to talk about themselves, to express their emotions and feelings. It is used to teach the child to have his days under control thanks to the memory, the reconstruction of the facts, the happening of things. It mainly serves to establish with your child a relationship based on mutual dialogue and trust.
The time of 3 minutes, in fact, is not intended to scold, advise, propose. Its purpose is the very simple one of listening. With suspension of judgment.
There will come a time when children, now adolescents, will no longer have any desire to talk about themselves. If, however, from an early age they have been used to doing it, they can always count on the 3 minutes of the parents destined exclusively to listening.