Scold, spank children, yes or no? The hypotheses have always been conflicting. Let’s try to clarify this article. What should be done?
Is spanking children right?
Spanking the children, Yes or no? There are still many doubts that revolve around the question. Some parents are always against it, others argue that one spanking every now and then it can only do well. But what do the experts think?
In this article we try to clarify the much debated topic, to find out what the consequences of spanking could be on the psychology, emotions, behavior, development of children.
Spanking: Because Parents Give It
Hands should never be raised on children, therefore we are not talking, in this article, of those who have violent attitudes towards minors, always and in any case to be punished. But of those parents who, in the face of a whim, a stance, escapes a slap or a spanking.
They are not bad parents, of course. Sometimes that gesture comes in a moment of selftiredness and nervousness, in front of a child who does not listen, who does not calm down and after having really tried them all. The parent spanks or maybe gives a slap and immediately repents, believing him, first, that this is not the correct method.
Then there are parents – we are talking about a considerably lesser part – who use spanking them just for educational purposes. But, in this case, there are really many perplexities.
Spanking: what the experts say
In the past spanking, slapping and – at times – even more violent practices were – unfortunately – widespread in many families. Physical punishment was part of the education and there was nothing wrong with it. Over the years, thanks to the studies of pediatricians and psychologists, fortunately this way of thinking has been overcome. But, in many families, spanking remains a punishment, perhaps sporadic, but present.
According to some studies, however, spanking and slapping should never be given, rather alternative – and more effective – ways should be found to correct the minor and make him understand that that particular thing is not done. Most pediatricians, psychologists, child specialists are against spanking and any other type of corporal punishment.
Spanking and slapping, in fact, can negatively affect the child’s self-esteem, causing psychological damage over time, as well as causing physical damage to the baby.
Not only that, according to studies, spanking is not an effective educational method, since it does not explain the error, but suppresses a negative action. The child, therefore, will not fully understand that what he has done is wrong and if he does not do it anymore it will be only out of fear. The little one will not understand that that particular action is wrong, but will only remember the pain and that punitive act that came suddenly.
The harm of spanking on children
The spanking, the slap, the blows more generally can cause gods significant emotional, psychological and behavioral damage.
The child may be aggressive, unable to socialize, always be angry, prejudiced, grumpy, or even be afraid of others. Spanking and slapping could have consequences on academic performance, causing damage to brain development.
Furthermore, once they have grown up and become adults, the blows received as children could increase the risk of anxiety and depression. Without removing the fact that the example received could fall on their future partner and their future children.
The educational alternatives to slapping and spanking
There are many effective and positive alternatives to slapping and spanking which, if adopted by parents, will lead to the desired results more quickly and without psychological and physical harm for the children. Dear parents, remember that children should not be “punished” but “educated”. And the spanking is “punitive”, while the dialogue and other tactics we now show you are “educational”.
According to experts, adults often demand too much of young children – a discipline that is intrinsic to them, but must be taught them gradually. The comunication comes first: a parent must teach the rules, but explain the benefits. If a child does something wrong, it is important to take him back, without ever humiliating him – much less spanking him – but with a firm tone, a serious look, so that the message to be delivered to the child is “This is wrong!”. But the exclamation must necessarily be followed by an explanation that makes the child understand the disadvantages of that action, what its consequences may be, what could happen or has happened that is dangerous or wrong, so that the child does not repeat it again.
They are needed healthy forms of discipline, experts say, that they increase the children’s self-esteem and do not negatively affect it, that they make the child grow and do not humiliate him, that they allow to identify the advantage and understand the error and that they do not result – as in the case of slapping and spanking – a suppression of that behavior and that’s it. .
Repent of giving a spanking
A spanking sooner or later can escape any parent, even the most calm and peaceful, even the one who “Me? A spanking to my son ever!”.
It can happen, at a particular moment fatigue, nervous, when a mum or a dad has reached the limit, perhaps because it was a hard day at work, because we are going through a very complicated period of life.
It happens and a parent regrets it soon after and she doesn’t know what to do with her son. “Apologize” can be the solution. A parent can also apologize to their child and, by doing so, will pass a very important message to the child. Explaining to him that that behavior was not correct, but that it was the consequence of a bit of nervousness, will serve as a lesson, to the little one, much more than the spanking or slapping.
There is nothing wrong with taking a step back, recognizing a mistake. No parent is perfect.