We are all at the beginning of a new year. There are those who have already integrated with the frenetic rhythms of cities always on the move and those who are slowly adapting to times and spaces totally different from those breathed in the summer period, perhaps in places so different from our chaotic metropolises.
Adults and children have returned or are about to return to their ‘duties’.
Each new year of work and study will be punctuated by decisions to be made and choices to be made.
The ability to choose implies, first of all, an act of thought followed by an action, which we perform or do not perform (in this case someone exercises it for us) since we are small without even realizing it.
Ever since we are born we are faced with more or less conscious choices.
We begin to have the perception of this great opportunity, which we are given to exercise, when we enter the so-called adolescent phase.
In adolescence, we begin to learn that our every action implies a more or less important choice and that the importance of the choice lies in its consequences that call us in the first person to take on responsibilities.
The decision-making capacity, however, we can exercise it in small things even in childhood, if we have at our side parents, educators, teachers who help us to become familiar, in the ways most suited to being children, with this ability.
Big decisions always belong to adults (as in cases of separation), children should never be faced with choices that their mind is unable to make, but in small things they can and it would be desirable for them to exercise their ability to decision: how to choose whether to eat ice cream or cake, whether to wear a sweater or stay in a shirt to play outside in the open
These two simple, but clear examples, highlight how the decision-making or choice puts the child in contact with himself, with his feelings, with what he feels and thinks and so from an early age he begins to exercise his true self by beginning to distance himself from being his parents.
The separation from being parents is of fundamental importance to be able later, in adolescence, to already have a solid basis on what you want, think, feel and this will help children not to be influenced by the self of others. , even if they were their own parents.
Because each of us is unique, has its own specific character, its own unique way of feeling and thinking.
Parents can only accompany other lives so that their fulfillment is complete: many times, in fact, for too much love, for their own anxieties, fears or simply because their own parents have done so too try to direct their children on paths that are not suitable. to them.
You can support your children, but you cannot replace them, because each child must find his happiness, and the fulfillment of his own desires that are unlikely to coincide with those of his own parents.
Friends can be companions on the journey, even very important ones, but definitive choices can only be made alone, this decision-making autonomy and choice has implicitly referred to the construction of one’s own self-esteem.
If we will be able to decide in full autonomy, because we have been offered an education that has helped us develop a good self-esteem, we can at least say we have tried with our head and our heart, otherwise we will develop a false self in mercy of the decisions of others.
To write or contact the doctor Chiara Corte Rappis you can write to the address chiara.corterappisATyahoo.it or call the number 349-7898300. For more information, you can also consult the site www.spazioeterotopico.it