There is an explanation for all children’s behaviors. Here’s how to understand and support your children according to the Brazelton approach
There is an explanation for all children’s behaviors
Have you ever failed to understand your child’s behavior?
And to think “Why does he wake up at night lately, when he used to sleep regularly?
Or “Why does he sometimes break out into a sudden cry for no apparent reason?
There is an explanation for all children’s behaviors.
Understanding them means supporting them in their growth path.
Most of the time the child’s behavior is the signal of a need that he perceives in his system of relationships and which is not always expressed in a linear way.
In this regard, Professor T. Berry Brazelton, pediatrician and child psychiatrist, who has dedicated his studies to supporting parenthood, indicates that for the child the first training and information basin lies in the mother and father, and that subsequently the family system is integrated by the other life contexts and by the other relationships with which it will come into contact.
So understand, through active listening, the internal nature of the child positively influences the parental capacity to act adequately and gives rise to genuine attention to the other.
Brazelton, with his revolutionary approach, specifies that in the various stages of the child’s development, there are periodically critical moments in which his behavior becomes disorganized and consequently also disorientates the parents.
So don’t panic!
If your child starts to wake up crying at night, which never happened, it doesn’t mean it’s problematic behavior. Rather!
It means it’s in the thick of it phase of acquiring a competence and that he is working hard to succeed in this new venture, such as learning to walk, experiencing the fear of breaking up and the excitement of being able to do it alone.
Know that it is precisely in the phase of disorganization of behavior that a “leap forward” in development takes place.
A real “evolutionary thrust”.
These are periods in which the child develops certain psychological, logical and cognitive skills and which involves a new way of perceiving reality and the world around him.
We give the children time to learn and let’s trust them.
In this article
What is the baby’s reaction during these developmental steps?
During these changes, the child may feel frightened and may perceive the space around him and his body differently.
In fact, very often he manifests his discomfort by eating or sleeping less, being more restless and disturbed, having more need for consolation and closeness, and requiring more attention from the adult.
Here, then, is one of the characteristic aspects of the Brazelton Approach: during growth, the child experiences phases, which Brazelton calls Touchpoints, where there are possible disorganizations and regressions that affect different aspects of development.
During these shots the child seems to regress and lose much of the previously acquired skills.
But there is nothing to worry about!
The child will soon begin to do everything he seemed to have forgotten and, indeed, after a short period of immobility, he will seem to have learned new skills overnight.
How should parents deal with unusual situations of any kind?
It is very important for parents to understand that every child has his own time and that, step by step, he will reach his conquests.
Knowing and sharing the sequences and timing of these sensitive but predictable moments that we have talked about, makes it possible to perceive these regressions as physiological and necessary moments in every line of the child’s development.
This means foster a serene and functional relationship between parents and children, promoting a constant balance between attachment and the progressive affirmation of independence.
Parents will find themselves in a dialogue made up of emotions, corporeality and mutually oriented sensations.
And above all it means aligning oneself with the needs of the child through one way: love. Unconditional love. Kind love.
A love that does not speak to us of perfection, nor of expectations or mistakes, but only of acceptance.
A child who feels loved and protected, understood and felt will explore the world without fear, because he will know he can always rely on a safe haven in which to take refuge in case of need. His family.
About the author
Silvia Ferretti, pedagogist, trainer, owner of a Center for the Infancy 12/36 months and operator trained in the Brazelton Touchpoints Approach. I like to sow beauty in the hearts of children and their families. Let’s join hands and get involved!